SRI BHAGAVAN: "This problem of relationship must be handled at three levels. At the first level you could use the teachings. Now very often we have bad relationships because we have been conditioned wrongly and we do not have certain insights. So the teaching would help you there.
For example, the teaching says 'to have good relationship start with yourself, not with the other. See who you are,accept yourself as you are and love yourself as you are'. When this happens very naturally the other person would see you as you are, would accept you as you are, would love you as you are.
When you say 'I am uncomfortable with that person' what you mean is: you are uncomfortable with some aspect of yourself. Suppose you say I am angry with that person, what it means is, there is something about which you are angry with yourself. When you are restless in a crowd it means you are restless inside yourself. What is happening outside is a mere reflection what is going on inside. If you go still deeper there is no difference between the inside and the outside. It is one.
I will give you an example for this.Some time ago a couple came to meet us and they had very bad relationship.So the lady said this man is a drunkard and I cannot live with him.And the man said she is a flirt and I cannot live with her.That was their problem.So we told them,look,here we do not work on the other,we work on oneself.So we took up the case of the flirt and we said look,we are not going to transform him who is a drunkard,we are going to transform you.So what you should do is ,see,look into yourself as to why you are a flirt,must see that.Having seen that accept that-yes I am a flirt.Accept it.Once you accept it you will start loving yourself,yes I am a flirt,this is what I am.And you fall in love with yourself. Now when this happens very naturally,we were actually working with her,she began to see that man as he is,as to why he is behaving the way he is behaving.She accepted him as he is and she loved him as he is.She did not ask that you must give up drinking.Because she accepted herself and fell in love with herself,she accepted him and loved him.That happened to her.The drunkard on other hand,he was looking into himself,he saw why he was drinking,that he is a drunkard,he accepted that and he fell in love with himself.Once he did that he could also accept her as a flirt,and accept and love her also.Now we did not change the flirt into something else nor the drunkard into something else.They accepted themselves therefore they could accept each other.But something strange happened after that.After that she ceased to be a flirt and he ceased to be a drunkard.But our object was only helping them to accept themselves and love themselves.So teaching can help like that.
The other thing is in relationships we build up images.Suppose you get married you start building up images about your wife and the wife about the husband.It can happen between any two people.There after the images start relating and you stop experiencing the person.Then also relationship dies.
So in many many ways teachings can help you but that is still only the first level.Sometimes what ever you might do, the mind gets stuck.It will be playing the record again and again and again for 20 years he will be repeating the same thing without any change.That also destroys relationship.You will say ten years ago you did this,twenty years ago you did this.The record goes on and on and on.To stop that you must give a powerful deeksha which can shift the mind into another dimension.There deeksha comes into play and helps you.
Now that also may not work always,in which case you must have to go into Karma.Karma would mean what happened at the moment of conception,what were your mother's thoughts when you were being carried in the womb.What happened in the womb and how exactly you were delivered,the first six hours after deivery and sometimes you might have to go into past lives.So at that level we can solve any problem.
So first you start applying the teaching.Next you try deeksha.With the teaching it is solved,fine.Otherwise use deeksha.If that does not work then move on to find out Karma.For Karma all that you must do is,you must relax well,move into the hypnogobic state,the state between waking and sleep,move into that state.Take a blessing from the SRI MURTHY and say 'Please AMMA BHAGAVAN show me where the problem is'.We will re rewind the tape and we will exactly show you what went wrong where.We will pin point the problem ie your Karma and then we will re work it.Once we rework it,the entire thing will start off in just twenty four hours.
So that is how you have to handle the problem of relationships.Step by step you have got to move."
SRI BHAGAVAN: "We don't become perfect by changing oneself. We become perfect by being aware and accepting our self as we are."
SRI AMMA BHAGAVAN: "Relationships born out of thought are the main cause for all sorts of problems. Let your heart be the cause for relationships"
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